Aquatic Research Instruments Concert

Cavorting in the mighty sea
Fish and rocks and plants and me
My shell is red, my eyes are shiny
But now I'm caught in trap so briny

Supermarket display case
Lethargic cold and in disgrace
Pincers trapped by rubber bands
Toddlers point with grubby hands

Suburban housewife sure is brave
Shoves me in the microwave
Oblivion is all I crave
Scream and thrash in boiling grave

Mike Benedetti: vocals
Chris DuPuis: acoustic guitar
Jon Lange: accordion
Michael Radford: percussion
Kurt Revis: electric guitar
Adam Villani: percussion

Copyright © 1994 Stale Urine

If you've got too much hair
On your shins and on your thighs
And you wanna get it off
Use the Wax!

If you're a little bee
Building a hexagon
You need material
Use the Wax!

[Where do you think Wax comes from?]

It comes from me!

I'm the Wax Man, the Wax Man
I'll Wax all over you
I'm the Wax Man, the Wax Man

If you're going on a date
And you want your car to shine
Buff it and apply
The Wax!

If your children want to draw
And hang it on the fridge
Give your spawn a box of crayons
They're made of Wax!

I'm the Wax Man, the Wax Man
I'll Wax all over you
I'm the Wax Man, the Wax Man

Paraffin . . . Wax Wax Wax Wax Wax Wax Wax Wax!

But when you sleep at night
I'll come into your room
And inside your ear canal
I'll leave my Wax!

If it is Halloween
And you haven't got a mask
Just don a set of lips
Made of Wax!

I'm the Wax Man, the Wax Man
I'll Wax all over you
I'm the Wax Man, the Wax Man

Mike Benedetti: accordion
Chris DuPuis: acoustic guitar
Jon Lange: accordion
Michael Radford: percussion
Kurt Revis: electric guitar
Adam Villani: vocals

Copyright © 1993 Stale Urine

You said you'd love me forever and that's O.K.
I may love you tomorrow, I loved you yesterday
We'll be together 'till our love grows stale
But you'll be alone when I throw you in jail

I'd say you were a goddess, my ideal
But love is never perfect, and seldom real
You're not my Aphrodite, you're not my Holy Grail
You'll be alone when I throw you in jail

You asked me for forever, and I fell asleep
I've gotta get up early, babe, so please don't weep
Put away your white dress, put away your veil
You'll be alone when I throw you in jail

My love hasn't faded, any more than Benedetti
Has the looks of Casanova, or the strength of a yeti
But I won't come to visit, I won't post your bail
You'll be alone when I throw you in jail

Mike Benedetti: acoustic guitar
Chris DuPuis: percussion
Jon Lange: accordion
Michael Radford: vocals
Kurt Revis: electric guitar
Adam Villani: percussion

Copyright © 1995 by Stale Urine

Mike Benedetti: vocals
Chris DuPuis: acoustic guitar
Jon Lange: accordion
Michael Radford: percussion
Kurt Revis: electric guitar
Adam Villani: percussion, spoon effects

Please put away
All that you're smoking
Place up your tré
Thus I have spoken
Yer captain sez
Put your head on your knees
Yer captain sez
Put your head in your hands
Yer captain sez
Put your head on your knees
Put your head in your hands
And take a last hit
Before the plane crash-lands
This is your captain
We're all goin' down
Stand with ya brother
Cause we're all gonna drown

This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme

I've got a feeling I've seen this before
Suckas and cops beatin' down my door
Why?
Cause I'm a caveman!
Why?
I got eyes in the back of my head!
We're all goin' down like it's supersonic
You're goin' down, I'm down wit' da chronic
STANDBY

This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme

This ain't no thyme to be pullin' no stunts
This is the thyme to be smokin' a blunt
You're all alone
There is no pilot
Hold the phone
It's the ultraviolet
STANDBY

This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
This is the thyme
And this is the record of the thyme
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme

Mike Benedetti: accordion, backing vocals
Chris DuPuis: acoustic guitar
Jon Lange: vocals
Michael Radford: percussion
Kurt Revis: electric guitar
Adam Villani: vocals

Portions copyright © 1995 by Stale Urine

Jon Lange: vocals
``Shillelagh'' Joe Malloy: sound effects

Copyright © 1995 by Stale Urine

The fish
They are noise
They are pain
I see them sliding

The fish
In the house
Of my doom
I see them sliding

The fishes
They are here
They are with us
And they see us

The fishes
They are here
They are with us
And they hate us

The fish
I can hear them
Sliding in the house
Sliding in the house . . .

The fish
Tails of blood
Wings of fear
Jaws of iron

The fish
They are steel
They are sparks
I hear them sliding

The fish
I have sparks
I am steel
I hear them sliding

The fish
They are here
They are gone
I hear them sliding

Chris DuPuis: acoustic guitar
Jon Lange: vocals, percussion
Michael Radford: accordion
Adam Villani: percussion

Copyright © 1993 by Stale Urine

I don't know what you could've learned
In your--is it fifteen years?
I don't know what the boys could've shown you
About your hangups and your fears
I know that there's a lot to learn
And I'm sure you'll understand
You seem like a talented girl
And you know I'm a hell of a man

You don't gotta be my servant, baby
You don't gotta be my slave
I wanna fulfill your every desire
Give you every little thing you crave
Maybe you'll reciprocate
And give me what I need
I wanna hold you oh-so-close
I wanna love you 'till you bleed

You may not like my wacky wit
You may not like this song
I don't care about that baby,
I just wanna love you all night long

I wanna make you cry in ecstasy,
Don't wanna hear you cry in pain
I wanna make you come
So many times you go insane
Baby, baby, baby
Won't you give me what I need?
I need for you to hold me tight,
To love me 'till I bleed

I wanna crack your pelvis,
I wanna make you scream
I'll be your greatest nightmare,
I'll infect your every dream
Maybe you don't understand,
I guess it's just as well
Tonight when I'm taking your body to Heaven
I'll be taking your soul to Hell

Mike Benedetti: vocals
Chris DuPuis: lead guitar
Jon Lange: accordion
Michael Radford: percussion
Kurt Revis: rhythm guitar
Adam Villani: percussion

Copyright © 1995 by Stale Urine

I'd tell you I like modern jazz
Except it isn't cool
I'd tell you I believe in Jesus Christ
But you'd brand me as a fool
I'd say you're the only thing I think about
But then I'd be your tool
Oh, sweet Lord, take me home

I likes to sail the open seas,
The crashing waves before me
I ain't above a jig of rum
When things are gettin' stormy
My mainsail hoisted high I stand
Aboard my sturdy craft
I man the bow, but when in port
I takes the lasses aft

Sometimes I'm so stressed that I can't sleep
I just wanna get off the world
My friends tell me getting off will help you relax
And you don't have to buy no one pearls
But that kind of escape isn't what I want
What I want is your love, girl
Oh, won't you sing me to sleep

An old sea dog like me don't go
For fine and frilly women
I tried to kiss a Paris dame
And ended up a-swimmin'
I likes to smell the good salt air
Don't need no gold or pearls
But after seven months at sea
I likes the dockyard girls

The sight of you, it makes me queasy
And your voice, it ills me
The touch of your hand sets my gut on fire
And the scent of your sweat, it thrills me
I'd better figure out just what I feel
Before your presence kills me
Oh, oh, oh

I'll sail the sea till my last day
Until the ocean breaks me
And then I'll sail to meet the Lord
I surely hope he takes me
For while at sea I work all day
At night I say my prayers
But when in port, a pint of ale
Then to the maids upstairs

Mike Benedetti: vocals, accordion
Chris DuPuis: vocals, acoustic guitar
Jon Lange: vocals
Michael Radford: vocals
Kurt Revis: vocals
Adam Villani: vocals

Copyright © 1993 Stale Urine

How can you be so sure
That the moon wants you to measure
Its distance from the earth
Why would it care
Else, moon would own the earth

And how can you be so sure
That the moon wants you to be
There at all
Have you asked it

Leave the moon alone

It won't be useful to you
It has no life to you
But only to itself
Don't you know that rocks have life
So does the air

Man thought he had conquered the moon
But when he got there
He found himself could only be there
Doing the jumping
And could not even impress the moon
To be looking more alive

Man had lost all his grace

Mike Benedetti: moon dance
Chris DuPuis: electric guitar
Jon Lange: accordion
Michael Radford: vocals, percussion
Kurt Revis: electric guitar
Adam Villani: percussion

Music copyright © 1993 Stale Urine

In the tundra it never rains
Inuit, Inuit, Inuit pain
Seal blood, seal blood, permanent stain
All we lost and never gained
Come on baby, don't give me no shelter--
Just call me the horse in the smelter

Eyelids burnin' off my head
It helps improve the view
I know a hundred words for snow
But only one for you
In this hellish heat I swelter
Just call me the horse in the smelter

I was so blind when it began
Those six month nights while we ate blubber
She sold her pelt to a dirty white man
Now when I see her I want to club her
Like a pup when I first felt her
Just call me the horse in the smelter

Listening to my Throbbing Gristle
Tryin' to keep a smiling face
If I don't whimper, only whistle
Maybe I can leave this place
Since you left, things ain't the same
My skin is raw, my life is pain

Mike Benedetti: vocals, accordion
Chris DuPuis: electric guitar
Jon Lange: accordion
Michael Radford: percussion
Kurt Revis: electric guitar
Adam Villani: percussion

Copyright © 1993 by Stale Urine

Current flowing
Through the Third Rail
The power of Satan
Will prevail

The Third Rail--The Third Rail
Satan's Rail is the Third Rail

Electricity flows
At the speed of light
All must bow
To Satan's might

The Third Rail--The Third Rail
Satan's Rail is the Third Rail

Subway car
Moves faster and faster
All must worship
The Beastmaster

The Third Rail--The Third Rail
Satan's Rail is the Third Rail

Mike Benedetti: accordion
Chris DuPuis: electric guitar
Jon Lange: accordion
Michael Radford: percussion
Kurt Revis: electric guitar, circular saw
Adam Villani: vocals

Copyright © 1993 Stale Urine

Mike Benedetti: vocals
Jon Lange: vocals, accordion
Adam Villani: chocolatey, velvet baritone